Transcript:

Joe: Hey Peter, did you know that February birthdays are clearly the best?
Peter: What the fuck are you talking about, Joe? February is a fucking joke!
Joe: Oh come on, Peter. Let me explain why February birthdays rock and why the other months suck donkey balls, especially October.
Peter: Alright, fine. Explain yourself, Joe.
Joe: First of all, February is the shortest month, which means we get to celebrate our birthdays sooner than those losers born in other months.
Peter: That's the dumbest fucking reason I've ever heard, Joe. Shorter month doesn't make it better!
Joe: Oh, you're just jealous because my birthday comes before yours, Peter. Anyway, let's move on to reason number two.
Peter: Fine, go ahead. Hurry the fuck up.
Joe: February birthdays are also special because we share the month with a romantic holiday like Valentine's Day. We get double the celebrations, baby!
Peter: Double the celebrations? More like double the fucking pressure to find a date!
Joe: Well, maybe you wouldn't have that problem if you weren't such a loser, Peter. Anyway, let's move on to reason number three.
Peter: I can't wait to hear this brilliant reason.
Joe: February birthdays are awesome because we're born in the middle of winter. We get to have indoor parties while those suckers born in the summer have to deal with fucking sunburns and bug bites.
Peter: You know what, Joe? Fuck your indoor parties! I'd rather have fun in the sun than be cooped up inside like a fucking hermit.
Joe: That's just because you have the brain of a dumbass, Peter. Anyway, let's move on to reason number four.