Transcript:

Peter: Hey, Lois, have you noticed how much Meg looks like a monkey?
Lois: Peter, that's an awful thing to say about our daughter!
Meg: What are you guys talking about?
Chris: Yeah, what's going on?
Peter: Well, Meg, we've been hiding something from you all these years...
Meg: What is it?
Brian: Meg, you're adopted.
Meg: What? No way!
Stewie: That's right, Meg. Your real parents were a bunch of monkeys from the zoo.
Meg: Are you fucking kidding me?
Peter: No, Meg. We found you in the monkey enclosure, and we just couldn't resist taking you home.
Lois: We love you, Meg, even if you are a monkey.
Meg: Fuck you all! I can't believe this shit!
Chris: Hey, Meg, at least now you have an excuse for flinging your poop around.
Brian: Chris, that's not funny.
Stewie: Oh, come on Brian. Lighten up. It's just a little monkey business.
Meg: I can't believe I have to live with you idiots!
Peter: Now, now, Meg. If it makes you feel any better, we'll take you to the zoo to visit your real family.
Meg: I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Lois: Meg, that's enough! We're your family, whether you like it or not.
Meg: Fine, whatever. Fuck you all.
Stewie: Oh, the drama! I can't wait to write about this in my memoirs.
Brian: Stewie, you're a baby. You don't have memoirs.