Transcript:

Seamus: Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round for a tale of the infamous pirate, Long Dick Semens, the most feared buccaneer to ever sail the seas!
Seamus: Long Dick Semens was a rough and tumble pirate with a heart as black as the deepest ocean and a lust for adventure that could not be quenched!
Seamus: One fateful night, Long Dick Semens set sail for the sexy islands of Asslvania, where the rum flowed as freely as the booty!
Seamus: Arriving on the shores of Asslvania, Long Dick Semens was greeted by a band of sultry sirens with curves that could make a grown man weep!
Seamus: The pirate wasted no time in plundering their treasures and seducing them with his devilish charm and his legendary member!
Seamus: Long Dick Semens was a master of the sword in more ways than one, if ye catch me drift!
Seamus: With his crew of salty seadogs, Long Dick Semens pillaged and ravaged the sexy islands, leaving a trail of broken hearts and satisfied wenches in his wake!
Seamus: But the pirate's lust for adventure knew no bounds, and he set his sights on the forbidden treasure of the Booty Queen, ruler of Asslvania!
Seamus: The Booty Queen was a fierce and fiery temptress, with a derriere that could launch a thousand ships!
Seamus: Long Dick Semens knew he had met his match, but he was determined to take what was rightfully his, even if it meant risking it all on the high seas!
Seamus: In a daring raid, Long Dick Semens and his crew stormed the Booty Queen's fortress, facing danger at every turn and battling their way to the ultimate prize!
Seamus: But the Booty Queen was no ordinary maiden, and she fought back with a ferocity that matched Long Dick Semens' own!
Seamus: In a fierce showdown, swords clashed, and passions flared as Long Dick Semens and the Booty Queen fought for dominance!
Seamus: In the end, Long Dick Semens emerged victorious, claiming the Booty Queen's treasure and her heart as his own!
Seamus: And so, the legend of Long Dick Semens, the pirate of Asslvania, lived on, a tale of lust, adventure, and plunder that would be whispered on the high seas for generations to come!