Transcript:

Carter: All rise! The trial of Mort Goldman for the September 11th attacks is now in session.
Carter: Mr. Death, you may proceed with your opening statement.
Death: Thank you, Your Honor. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are here today to bring justice to the victims of the September 11th attacks. The evidence overwhelmingly points to Mort Goldman as the perpetrator of this heinous act. We will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he orchestrated the destruction of the World Trade Center, causing the deaths of thousands of innocent people.
Carter: Very well. Ms. Meg, you may present your opening statement on behalf of the defense.
Meg: Thank you, Your Honor. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Mort Goldman, is innocent. He is a kind and gentle soul who would never harm anyone, let alone commit such a horrific act. The prosecution's wild accusations are baseless, and we will prove Mort's innocence beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Carter: Proceed with the first witness, Mr. Death.
Death: I call to the stand Mr. Stewie Griffin.
Stewie: Ah, yes. The September 11th attacks. Quite the tragedy, huh? Good thing I wasn't involved. But if I was, I would've done it better. Much better.
Death: Objection, Your Honor! The witness is not taking this trial seriously.
Carter: Sustained. Mr. Stewie, please answer the questions seriously.
Stewie: Alright, alright. I wasn't involved in the attacks, and neither was Mort. He's just a harmless pharmacist with bad luck. Plus, he can barely handle a pill bottle, let alone a terrorist plot.
Death: No further questions, Your Honor.
Carter: Ms. Meg, you may now cross-examine the witness.